Sorry for the long absence. In addition to continuing to deal with my depression and lack of motivation, we’ve had a lot going on as a family. At the end of December, we closed on a house. Moving with a toddler was quite a struggle. It took us over a month to get everything moved out of the apartment and clean it up before our lease was up at the end of February. We still haven’t heard whether we’re going to get any of our deposit back. We aren’t really expecting to; we just don’t want to owe anything. Three cats and a toddler … you know.
We had a lot of boxes in the front/dining room and our bedroom for the first couple weeks after we moved. Having to look at and maneuver around all the boxes was very anxiety-provoking for me. It was my brother-in-law who suggested moving all the boxes to the living room in the basement, so they’d be out of the way. It was a great idea. I’ve gone through a box or two a week since then, but there is still a mountain of boxes in the basement right now, just waiting to be unpacked.
One thing I did manage to do over the last month was to get all of my books unpacked. While doing so, I came across a book I had forgotten I had: Brigid: History, Mystery, and Magick of the Celtic Goddess. I had almost bought it again. I haven’t read the book yet, but I got it because of a draw I was feeling toward Brigid. It has been a long time since I read a book, and I need to start setting a good example for G. It is my intention to go down to the living room and get that book off the shelf so I can start reading it. (This has been my intention for almost two weeks now. I have yet to actually go get that book off the shelf!)
Yesterday was the full moon and Ostara. Once again the Sabbat has slipped by, uncelebrated. There is still time, though, to plan a little something for this weekend. We shall see…
The last few days have been hectic. G has been teething, and it has been impossible to get much done. I’m sure that’s just a lame excuse, but he’s been taking up all my attention when he’s awake. So when he FINALLY went down for his nap, I set to work on my kitchen. Oh, it was awful!
The dishwasher hadn’t been emptied in over a day, so I did that. Then I loaded and ran it. That alone helped a ton! (see below)
Then I needed to hand wash a couple of things. I hate washing by hand, so the two items that I’d rather not spend time on, I left in the sink until they could go into the dishwasher. There were some random things that didn’t belong in the kitchen, like the cereal box, a book belonging to my husband (not pictured), and some straight-up garbage.
Once that was finished, I was able to wipe down the counters and sweep the floor. It looks so much better (not including the upper counter that is still a mess). And it really didn’t take that long, maybe 20 minutes or so. It’s so easy to get stuff done with G is out of the way!
I ran the dishwasher this evening. I also cleaned the tub, but I didn’t have much of a choice since my little guy had an accident during his bath (thankfully at the end).
I also said a prayer to the Goddess and God before bed. I will try to implement evening prayer as part of my bedtime routine.
But first, let me explain where I am coming from.
I have self-identified as a Pagan for the last 15 years. I was an avid reader on the topic for a long time, and I feel like that is what I have done more than any actual practice. There have been times when I performed a Sabbat ritual or brief stretches where I actually said a daily prayer. But those times were very few. I have never stuck with any practice long enough to get much out of it spiritually. It is my hope that starting this blog will be the push I need to put more energy into my spiritual life, which is fairly non-existent at this time.
Another area where I struggle is keeping my home in order. This includes keeping up with the housework, preparing meals for my small family, and creating a routine for my toddler. I am inclined to believe that blogging about my struggles (and successes) will help hold me accountable for creating the home life I desire.
If this sounds anything like you, past or present, or if you have always had a spiritually full life and would like to share your wisdom, I would love to read your comments!
It is my plan to blog as close to daily as I am able. I will talk about what I am reading (if relevant), what I have been doing to connect with Deity, and what I am doing to help stay on top of housework and child rearing. This is my path to the spiritual and home life I crave, however long it takes me to get there.